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With the money, I would buy drugs and spend my days stoned, listening to music and chatroulette t shirt pots. Constructing and flying box kites 2. Channel Changing Monkey If I had a monkey, I would teach it how to use all the entertainment equipment.

Running down sand dunes 4. Call it Monkey Island and sell series rights. I would call mine Manky as it is a cross between man and monkey and I would teach him to love. Kylie would be so thankful that she might send me an autographed photo and I could sell it on ebay for fifty dollars.

I would then set the alarm for him to get up half an hour before I do and do my hair while I am still asleep.

Don’t Be A Creeper

Running chatroulette t shirt sand dunes 4. Channel Changing Monkey If I had a monkey, I would teach it how to use all the entertainment equipment. I would save money on batteries for the remote controls by having my monkey change channels for me.

I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. Playing Connect 4 5. This would give me more time to write about what I would do if I had a monkey.

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With the proceeds from the sale of this publication, I would buy a potters wheel and kiln and produce my own range of contemporary, modern living, statues of monkeys.

I would then publish my findings in a journal titled "Monkey Vs Electricity". Then if Kylie passed out on stage again I would be able to save the day by having my monkey finish the concert for her. I would then publish my findings in a journal titled "Monkey Vs Electricity".

This list, featuring the kind of monkeys that would be good to have, is far from complete as it omits Jetski monkey, Boiling water monkey and Battlestar Galactica Monkey but covers the basic best kinds of monkeys.

Obviously having your own monkey would be fantastic for a whole host of reasons and as they are quite intelligent, yet unable to speak, they learn quickly through beatings while being unable to tell anyone about the beatings.

Don’t Be A Creeper

This would either give me more time in the morning or allow me to spend more time sleeping. Playing Connect 4 5. With the money I saved on batteries I would buy drugs. Also, the last time I went kayaking I was listening to my ipod and I fell asleep and got sunburnt and the current took me way up the river before I awoke when the kayak hit a tree branch and I had to paddle all the way back.

Gambling Monkey If I had a monkey, I would teach him to count cards like Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rainman and sneak my monkey into the casino. I would shave the monkey and buy a yellow shirt for it and teach it to write inane posts on Facebook.

Call it Monkey Island and sell series rights. With the money, I would buy drugs and spend my days stoned, listening to music and turning pots. The concert promotors would probably give me free tickets and promotional gifts. The concert promotors would probably give me free tickets and promotional gifts.

Having a paddling monkey would prevent this ever happening again so really it is a water-safety issue and should be encouraged. This would give me more time to write about what I would do if I had a monkey.

I would share the drugs with the monkey while we watched Black Books and Stephen Chow movies together. More Articles I wish I had a monkey Not like the kind in the above picture though, as that monkey is white and has some kind of fruit smeared all over its face.

I would just waste the extra half hour anyway so probably better to sleep but as I usually don't rock up to work till ten thirty or so, I could try leaving earlier. Then if anyone said "Thats not a real monkey, it's just a monkey suit, I can see the zipper", I could say "I bet you fifty dollars it is a real monkey" and when they said "that seems like a reasonable bet, you are on", my monkey would take off the monkey suit and they would have to pay me fifty dollars.

The next time I went kayaking I would be able to relax and enjoy the scenery while my monkey navigated the river. We could put the babies on an island with hidden cameras and see if they invent the wheel and discover fire.Warning!

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I wish I had a monkey Not like the kind in the above picture though, as that monkey is white and has some kind of fruit smeared all over its face.

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